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Let’s wrap up the Hero’s Journey. In our last post, we explored the first six steps of this epic adventure, looking through the lens of Pilgrim’s Progress. This book paints a vivid picture of the Christian life—a journey full of trials, triumphs, and lessons. As we continue, imagine yourself in Christian’s shoes. The path to Heaven, the Celestial City, mirrors our journey as believers. You might already be facing some of these steps, or they could be just around the corner. Either way, each one has something valuable to teach us about faith, perseverance, and hope. Step 7: The Innermost Cave Life has a way of throwing challenges at us when we least expect them. The “Innermost Cave” represents the hardest battles we face—those moments when everything feels dark and overwhelming. For Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress, this might be the Valley of the Shadow of Death. For us, it could be a personal struggle like overcoming an addiction, forgiving someone who hurt us, or learning to love ourselves despite our flaws. These moments push us to confront our deepest fears and rely fully on God. The good news? God promises to walk with us through every dark valley (Psalm 23:4). Even in the hardest times, He’s our strength and guide Psalm 23:4 – though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Step 8: The Ordeal Just when you think the hardest part is over, another trial appears. The “Ordeal” is a test of faith—a challenging situation that feels like it could break you. The devil doesn’t give up easily. Even after we’ve overcome one challenge, he tries to attack us again, often when we least expect it. These ordeals can take many forms: battling temptation, facing condemnation, or enduring the loss of a loved one. In these moments, we must rely on God’s strength, not our own. Ephesians 6:11 reminds us to put on the full armor of God so we can stand firm against the enemy. With God, we can face even the toughest battles. Step 9: The Reward After every ordeal comes a reward. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian’s victories lead him closer to the Celestial City. For us, rewards might come in the form of restored peace, a renewed sense of purpose, or even unexpected blessings. God is faithful. He doesn’t leave our efforts unnoticed. Each victory strengthens our faith and prepares us for what’s next. But rewards aren’t just about the celebration – they remind us that our journey isn’t over yet. The next challenge is always around the corner, so we must stay grounded in God’s Word. Step 10: The Road Back Victory doesn’t mean the journey is finished. The “Road Back” is the path to the final destination, but it often comes with challenges. In life, the enemy doesn’t stop trying to derail us. Even after spiritual victories, there are pitfalls to avoid and distractions to overcome. The key is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 reminds us to focus on Him, the author and finisher of our faith. This stage teaches us to stay humble and dependent on God. No matter how far we’ve come, there’s always more to learn and growth ahead. Step 11: Resurrection This step represents a moment of ultimate testing—a “final exam” of sorts. It’s often the hardest challenge yet, requiring every ounce of faith, strength, and perseverance we have. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian faces his greatest trial before reaching the Celestial City. For us, these moments can feel like everything is falling apart. Maybe it’s a major life crisis or a spiritual battle that seems impossible to win. But here’s the hope: with God, resurrection is always possible. When we fall, He lifts us. When we’re weak, He makes us strong. And when we feel like we can’t go on, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). Step 12: Return with the Elixir The journey ends with a glorious homecoming. For Christian, it’s the Celestial City—a place of eternal joy and peace. For believers, it’s Heaven, where we’ll be with God forever. This step reminds us of the ultimate goal. All the struggles, trials, and victories lead to this moment. Revelation 21:4 promises a place where there’s no more pain, sorrow, and death. But until that day, we’re called to live with eternity in mind. Our journey doesn’t just impact us—it inspires others. When we share our stories, we give hope to those still walking their path. Conclusion The Hero’s Journey isn’t just a story—it’s a reflection of real life. Each step challenges us, grows us, and brings us closer to God. Like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress, we all face valleys, battles, and moments of triumph. As you walk your journey, remember this: you’re never alone. God is with you every step of the way, guiding you toward the Celestial City. Keep pressing on, and don’t lose sight of the ultimate reward—eternal life with Him.

What are church hurts?  Church hurts refer to any type of pain (emotional, physical, or spiritual) caused by negative experiences in a religious or church setting. This can include experiences such as feeling excluded, rejected, or judged by fellow church members. It also includes experiencing abuse or mistreatment by church leaders. Do I need to be part of the church? God commands us to be part of the church for our own benefit. 23 Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works, 25 not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching Hebrews 23-24. Why do church hurts happen?  Doctrine disagreements, power struggles, and harsh words can cause church hurts. Physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse can also happen inside the church. What are some examples of church hurts?  Examples of church hurts can include feeling ostracized or excluded by a church community and being judged by church leaders or members. Public humiliation in church, and being misunderstood, are other examples of church hurts. How can church hurt impact a person’s spiritual life?  Church hurts can lead to feelings of disillusionment, anger, or sadness that can affect a person’s relationship with God. In worst-case scenarios, they can lead people to blame or hold a grudge against God. Some people have left their faith because the church has hurt them. How can a person heal from church hurts?  Healing from church hurts can involve seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend. Engaging in practices such as prayer, meditation, and forgiveness can quicken the healing process. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13. Should a person confront the person or people who have hurt them? Addressing those who have hurt you can be beneficial, but only if it is done in a safe and comfortable environment. 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector Matthew 18: 15-17. What can churches do to prevent church hurts?  Churches can prevent church hurts by fostering a culture of inclusion, acceptance, and love. Also, by implementing policies and procedures that prioritize the safety and well-being of all members.  Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8. Can a person still have a relationship with God after experiencing church hurts?  Yes, a person can still have a relationship with God after experiencing church hurts. Spiritual growth and healing can come through the practice of prayer and worship. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34 vs 18. Ultimately, having a relationship with God is a personal choice. Nothing can separate us from the love of God Romans 8 vs 31-39. Is it possible to find a church community that won’t cause church hurts?  Finding a church community that meets one’s values and provides a safe and supportive environment is possible. The only way to find the right community for you is to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Let God show you which church community you should be part of. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left Isaiah 30:21. How can a person know if they should leave a church that has caused them church hurts?  When they feel unsafe or unwelcome in the community. If they are being mistreated or abused by church leaders or members, it might be a good time to leave. Sometimes taking a short break from church is all you need. In my case, I had to move to a different branch of the same church where I could worship God freely.

Building on the insights shared in our last post, where we unpacked the reasons why we get hurt by the church, today we’ll dive into the different types of church hurts and discuss ways to overcome them. From emotional and spiritual wounds to physical and financial traumas, it’s important to recognize that, while painful, these experiences don’t have to define our faith journey. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk this path alone. Types of Church Hurts with Examples Emotional Hurts Emotional wounds are often subtle but can have a lasting impact on a person’s mental health. For example, I shared previously about being exposed for stealing in front of the congregation. The shame and anxiety of that public exposure in a Pentecostal church, especially during prophecy time, created a lasting fear of judgment. These hurts often stem from feelings of exclusion, rejection, or betrayal within the community, leaving one feeling isolated and misunderstood. Physical Hurts Physical hurts in a church setting can range from accidents to more intense conflicts. I’ve witnessed situations where arguments in church escalated into physical altercations. Additionally, churches can sometimes unintentionally expose people to harm, as in the biblical example of Eutychus, who fell from a window and died while Paul was preaching (Acts 20:9). These incidents, while accidental, underscore the need for a safe environment and respectful interactions. Spiritual Hurts Spiritual hurts can deeply shake one’s faith. For example, people often feel exposed if their private struggles are shared publicly by church leadership. A person criticized for not praying long enough or speaking in tongues may feel unworthy, and this can create a crisis of faith. Spiritual hurt arises when religious expectations or beliefs are wielded to judge or shame, leading some to question their belonging within the community. Sexual Hurts Sexual hurt is a heartbreaking reality for some, taking forms from inappropriate comments to severe incidents like sexual abuse. Survivors often feel violated by someone they trusted and may experience lasting emotional trauma. Seeking therapy from services like BetterHelp or connecting with survivor support organizations like RAINN can provide confidential support, a safe space to share experiences, and tools for healing. Financial Hurts Financial hurts stem from perceived mismanagement or a lack of transparency. For instance, constant fundraising without clear financial accountability can lead people to feel exploited. This betrayal can shake trust, creating a sense of disillusionment with church leadership. Let’s face the truth, some pastors and leaders have and still use the money for their financial needs. This is the main reason why people do not want to give tithe and offerings in church. Steps to Overcome Church Hurts Acknowledge the Hurt “Risk is real. The Christian life is a painful life. Not joyless. But not painless either.” – John Piper The first step in overcoming church hurts is to acknowledge that they exist and that they are real. This can be difficult, especially if the hurt is subtle or hard to articulate, but it is an essential first step. Yes, you have been hurt, let that sink in and then decide the way forward – finding help and finding healing. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Seek Support Building a support network is essential. Talking with friends, family, or a therapist can offer perspective and comfort. BetterHelp provides access to licensed Christian therapists who can guide you through processing church-related traumas. Do not suffer in silence. “Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.” – Romans 15:1 Practice Self-Care “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” – Eckhart Tolle Self-care is critical during healing. This may involve physical activities like exercise or emotional outlets like journaling or engaging in hobbies that bring joy. Christian author Lisa TerKeurst’s book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget discusses healing strategies through a biblical perspective, helping you navigate pain and self-care. Set Boundaries Setting boundaries protects your emotional well-being. Boundaries might include stepping back from certain church activities or limiting interactions with individuals who’ve hurt you. Christian resources like Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer guidance on establishing boundaries in ways that align with biblical values. “Don’t compromise even if it hurts to be yourself.” – Toby Keith Forgiveness Forgiving does not mean forgetting but allows you to release resentment. Holding onto anger can trap you in a cycle of pain, while forgiveness opens a pathway toward peace and freedom. “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” – Matthew 6:15 Take it to God While this is supposed to be the first step you take, sometimes it is the last thing you do, that’s why we left it for last. Turning to God through prayer can bring peace and clarity. Even when we struggle to find words, God understands our pain and invites us to bring our burdens to Him. Psalm 42:11 reminds us, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God.” Conversations with God, even in moments of weakness, can lead us toward peace and restoration. Conclusion Church hurts are undeniably painful, but they don’t have to define your faith journey. By acknowledging your experiences, seeking support, practicing self-care, and embracing forgiveness, you can move forward with renewed strength and faith. Remember, God desires healing for each of us, and no matter what you’ve endured, restoration is within reach. Healing may take time, but with support, self-care, and divine guidance, the journey forward is possible.

My first encounter with church hurts – call it a traumatic experience if you will—hit me in my teenage years. It was small stuff, like pocketing a few things here and there, and sure, I know, that’s not okay. But back then, it felt like everyone had their little ways of bending the rules. Then one Sunday at church—my mom’s church, not mine by choice—everything changed. The preacher called me out in front of the entire congregation, labeling me a thief. I didn’t even understand how deep that moment would cut. Thankfully, I’ve healed from it. But in my journey with God, I’ve seen how easily we can get hurt by the very place that’s meant to be a refuge. And sometimes, if I’m honest, I’ve probably hurt others too. Through these experiences, I’ve come to understand why church hurts happen and, more importantly, how we can find healing. 1. Unrealistic Expectations: The Pain of Idealizing the Church We often step into church expecting it to be a place of pure acceptance, a family where everyone gets along, or even a solution to our problems. But when those hopes clash with reality, disillusionment sets in. One reason for this is that our expectations are often high, sometimes unrealistically so. The truth is, churches are full of people just as flawed as the rest of the world. When we see imperfection where we expected perfection, the disappointment stings. Proverbs 13:12 says it well: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” This expectation of perfection can lead to feelings of betrayal or hurt, especially when we forget that church leaders and congregants alike are human. An article by Christianity Today highlights that while we often look to church leaders to embody Christ-like character, they, too, are imperfect and can fall short. Recognizing that everyone is on a journey and acknowledging our own imperfections helps us to have grace when reality doesn’t meet our expectations. 2. Human Imperfection: A Community of Sinners Needing Grace Another layer of church hurt comes simply from the fact that we’re all human. The church is a community of people who, despite their best intentions, carry their own struggles, wounds, and blind spots. Words slip, actions fall short, and sometimes, unintentionally, people hurt each other. This doesn’t excuse the hurt, but it does give us a wider lens to view it. The Bible reminds us in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” This passage isn’t just a reminder of our brokenness but an invitation to recognise our need for grace. When we acknowledge this shared imperfection, it shifts our perspective from one of blaming to understanding. We can recognise that people are often doing their best, even when it doesn’t look like it from our perspective. 3. Power Struggles and Cliques: When Church Becomes Political Nothing makes a church feel less like a sanctuary than seeing it divided by power struggles. When people in church leadership vie for control or authority, it creates an undercurrent of tension. Before long, you start seeing cliques form, with some people feeling included and others, painfully excluded. This is sadly common in many church settings. A Barna Group study reveals that feelings of disconnection and cliquishness are some of the top reasons people, especially young adults, leave churches. It’s easy to feel overlooked in these moments, as if the church isn’t a safe space but a political ground. But this isn’t new—Jesus Himself encountered similar dynamics in His time. He rebuked the Pharisees for using their positions to control rather than serve the people (Matthew 23:1-12). When these struggles arise, it’s often a sign that we need to refocus on Christ’s message of humility and service. Acknowledging these issues allows us to create environments where leadership serves as a foundation of love and unity. 4. Miscommunication: Misunderstandings that Widen the Divide Sometimes, the hurt isn’t from big power struggles or unmet expectations; it’s a quiet, creeping pain from misunderstandings and miscommunications. A word is taken the wrong way, a gesture misinterpreted, or intentions assumed. These small misunderstandings can build up over time, leading to a wall of resentment and pain that separates us. Proverbs 18:2 reminds us, “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” The Bible offers wisdom on this, encouraging us to seek understanding and peace in all interactions. Practicing empathy and assuming the best in others helps break down these barriers. Open communication, active listening, and a willingness to clarify misunderstandings are essential practices to foster unity. 5. Lack of Forgiveness: Breaking the Cycle of Bitterness At the heart of many church hurts is a lack of forgiveness. When we hold onto grudges or refuse to let go of pain, bitterness takes root, eating away at relationships and eroding the church’s unity. Extending grace to one another is hard, especially when the wounds are deep. But God calls us to a higher standard, one where forgiveness isn’t optional but essential. Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring the hurt but choosing not to let it control us. Holding onto bitterness often hurts us more than the person who wronged us. This internal pain can lead us further away from the peace and joy that God offers. The act of forgiving isn’t about forgetting but about freeing ourselves from the weight of resentment, opening up the possibility for healing and reconciliation. Finding Healing and Restoring Faith in the Church It’s no secret: church hurt is real, and it can run deep. But healing is possible when we confront the pain, acknowledge its source, and lean into God’s grace. One valuable resource on the topic, Focus on the Family, suggests that healing often begins when we lay down our pain before God, releasing it into His hands. Through prayer, self-reflection, and honest conversations,

Deciding to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior is a life-changing moment. It is a choice that impacts your life now and for eternity. Hebrews 9:27 reminds us, “the end of every man’s life will bring judgment.” Christianity is more than a religion; it is about building a deep, personal relationship with God. If you’re wondering why you should become a Christian, here are some powerful reasons. 1. Discover God’s Plan for Your Life No matter your past, God’s salvation is for everyone. 2 Peter 3:9 says God is patient, wanting everyone to repent and be saved. Jesus Christ’s death on the cross opens the way for us to reconcile with God and gain eternal life. Your journey is part of God’s plan. Accepting His grace means becoming part of a loving, purposeful, and redeeming design. Moreover, God’s plan for your life is unique. He has specific purposes just for you. Embracing Christianity means walking in these divine purposes. It means living a life filled with meaning and direction. With God, every step of your journey is guided and purposeful. 2. Find Rest for Your Soul Jeremiah 6:16 encourages us to seek the old, godly way for true rest – something only found through Jesus Christ. Salvation is crucial not just for you, but for sharing the life-changing message with others. In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, finding rest for your soul in Christ offers a steady anchor, a peaceful sanctuary amid life’s storms. In addition, this rest brings profound peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding, as mentioned in Philippians 4:7. Imagine living a life where anxiety and fear have no power. A life where peace is your constant companion. This is possible through a relationship with Jesus. 3. Experience True Joy Phillipians 1: 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 assures us that those who know God need not fear even death. Life’s challenges become chances to strengthen your faith (James 1:2). The joy of trusting God through tough times is unmatched. On your faith journey, you’ll find that true joy is constant, rooted in the unshakeable knowledge that God is with you, guiding you through valleys and celebrating with you on mountaintops. Furthermore, this joy is not dependent on circumstances. It’s a joy that remains even in trials. This is because it’s based on your relationship with God. As you grow closer to Him, your joy deepens. It’s a joy that comes from knowing you are loved and valued by the Creator. 4. Enjoy the Benefits of Being with God Salvation doesn’t mean a challenge-free life, but with God, you’re never alone. Psalm 103:2 tells us to praise the Lord for all His blessings, and Deuteronomy 31:8 promises His constant presence and guidance. Walking with God brings you the richness of His love, the comfort of His presence, and the assurance that His plans for you are filled with hope and purpose. The benefits of being with God are endless. He provides strength when you are weak. He offers comfort when you are hurting. His presence brings hope in the darkest times. Moreover, God’s guidance leads you to paths of righteousness and blessings. You are never without help or direction when you walk with God. 5. Strengthen Your Community and Impact the World When you accept Jesus Christ, you become part of a global community of believers. This community offers support, encouragement, and love. You’ll be surrounded by people who share your faith and values, and together you can make a significant impact on the world. By performing acts of kindness, participating in charity, and sharing the message of God’s salvation, you contribute to making the world a better place. Conclusion Choosing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior isn’t just a decision; it’s a transformative journey. You’ll find rest for your soul and unlock the countless blessings of being a child of God. Remember Dwight L. Moody’s wise words: “Give your life to God; he can do more with it than you can!” Accepting Christ means stepping into a life of peace, joy, purpose, and community. It’s the best decision you’ll ever make.

Life throws curveballs, that’s a fact. By the time we consider following Christ, many of us carry a backpack full of past experiences, mistakes, and burdens. This heavy baggage can feel like a barrier to seeking faith, whispering doubts like “Can God truly forgive me?” or “I need to get my life together first, then I can be worthy of God’s love.” But here’s the glorious truth: God doesn’t wait for us to be perfect before He welcomes us with open arms. In fact, the Bible tells a beautiful story in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” This passage is a beacon of hope, especially for those carrying the weight of past choices. God doesn’t ask us to clean up our act first. He invites us, just as we are, with all our baggage and imperfections. He understands the burdens we carry, and He offers rest, forgiveness, and a chance to start anew. Why We Hesitate So why do we hesitate? Why do we feel the need to “get our life together” before seeking God? Here are some common reasons: Shame and Guilt The burden of past mistakes can bear down heavily on our hearts, causing intense feelings of shame and guilt that can lead us to believe we are undeserving of God’s love and forgiveness. Fear of Rejection Sometimes we may feel apprehensive about how we’ll be received by religious communities, particularly if our background doesn’t quite fit the mold of their traditional beliefs. Trying to Do It Ourselves Sometimes, we might think that we have to solve all our problems by ourselves before turning to God. However, this mindset of self-reliance can prevent us from fully experiencing the grace that comes from connecting with Him. Letting Go and Finding Strength The good news is, that God doesn’t expect us to carry our burdens alone. He desires a relationship with us, a messy, beautiful relationship built on love and acceptance. Here’s how to take that first step: Acknowledge Your Need for God Recognize that you can’t handle everything on your own. Let go of your worries and let Him carry your burdens and anxieties. Accept Forgiveness God extends to us total forgiveness through our faith in Jesus Christ. When we believe in His sacrifice, His love permeates our being and cleanses us of all guilt and shame. Start Fresh Following Christ is a journey of transformation. With God’s help, you can overcome past mistakes and grow into the person He created you to be. Finding a Supportive Community While God welcomes us with open arms, having a supportive community of believers can be invaluable on your faith journey. A church that emphasizes grace, forgiveness, and acceptance can provide encouragement, guidance, and a sense of belonging. Following Christ: A Journey of Transformation Following Christ is not about achieving religious perfection. It’s about a daily walk with God, a journey of transformation where He helps us become the best versions of ourselves. It’s about experiencing His love, forgiveness, and purpose for our lives. Are You Ready to Take the First Step? If you’re ready to surrender your burdens and experience the transformative power of God’s love, here’s a simple prayer you can pray: Dear God,I come to you today, weary and burdened. I confess my mistakes and ask for your forgiveness. Thank you for offering me your love and grace. I surrender my life to you and ask for your guidance on this journey of faith.In Jesus’ name,Amen. Conclusion Remember, God is waiting for you with open arms. Take that first step today, and allow Him to write a beautiful new chapter in your story. Don’t wait until you feel perfect or ready. Come as you are, and experience the healing and hope that comes from following Christ. By embracing these steps and leaning on your faith, you can find comfort and guidance in God’s love. Whether you’re just starting your journey or seeking to deepen your relationship with Him, remember that God’s grace is always available to you.