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Scripture Focus: Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 11:6, Titus 3:5 There’s a battle raging in the heart of every person who has ever heard the gospel. It’s not a battle between good and evil, or even between faith and doubt. It’s a battle between two fundamentally different ways of understanding how a person gets right with God. On one side stands grace—God’s unmerited favor freely given to undeserving sinners. On the other side stands works—the human attempt to earn salvation through good deeds, religious rituals, and moral performance. This isn’t just a theological debate for seminary classrooms. This is the most practical, life-changing truth you’ll ever encounter. How you answer this question will determine whether you live in freedom or bondage, whether you experience peace or anxiety, whether you rest in God’s finished work or exhaust yourself trying to earn His approval. The tragedy is that most people, even many who call themselves Christians, are confused about this fundamental truth. They’ve mixed grace and works together, creating a gospel that sounds Christian but actually robs them of the very peace and assurance that salvation is meant to bring. The Human Heart’s Natural Religion Before we dive into what Scripture teaches, let’s be honest about what feels natural to us. Every human heart has the same instinctive response to the idea of salvation: “What must I do to be saved?” It’s the question the Philippian jailer asked Paul and Silas in Acts 16:30, and it’s the question that echoes in every human heart. We naturally think in terms of earning, deserving, and paying our way. When someone does something kind for us, we feel obligated to return the favor. When we make a mistake, we instinctively try to make up for it. This isn’t wrong in human relationships—it’s how society functions. But when we bring this same mindset to our relationship with God, we create a religion of works that is completely opposite to the gospel. The apostle Paul understood this human tendency better than anyone. Before his conversion, he was the epitome of a works-based religionist. In Philippians 3:4-6, he describes his impressive religious résumé: “circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless.” If anyone could have earned salvation through works, it would have been Paul. But what did he conclude about all his religious achievements? “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ” (Philippians 3:7). The Crystal Clear Teaching of Scripture Let’s settle this question once and for all by looking at what God’s Word actually teaches about salvation. The Bible is remarkably clear on this issue so clear that it’s impossible to misunderstand unless we’re actively trying to avoid the truth. Ephesians 2:8-9 gives us the most straightforward explanation: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Let’s break this down: Romans 11:6 drives the point home even more forcefully: “But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.” Paul is saying that grace and works are mutually exclusive. If salvation depends on works, then it’s not grace. If it’s by grace, then works have no part in it. Titus 3:5 removes any remaining doubt: “He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.” The Impossibility of Works-Based Salvation Why is God so adamant that salvation cannot be by works? Because works-based salvation is not just difficult—it’s impossible. Here’s why: God’s Standard is Perfection James 2:10 explains: “For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it.” God’s standard isn’t “pretty good” or “better than average.” It’s absolute perfection. One sin—just one—makes you guilty of breaking God’s entire law. Our Righteousness is Filthy Rags Isaiah 64:6 gives us God’s evaluation of our best efforts: “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.” Even our very best works are utterly defiled in God’s sight. We Are Dead in Our Sins Ephesians 2:1 describes our spiritual condition before salvation: “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins.” Dead people can’t contribute to their own resurrection. A spiritually dead person cannot perform spiritually acceptable works. The Beautiful Truth About Grace Grace is not just God’s backup plan when our works fail. Grace is God’s primary plan, designed before the foundation of the world to demonstrate His love and bring Him maximum glory. Grace is Unmerited Favor The most basic definition of grace is “unmerited favor”—receiving something good that you don’t deserve. But biblical grace goes even deeper. It’s receiving the ultimate good (salvation and eternal life) while you deserved the ultimate bad (judgment and eternal death). Romans 5:8 captures this beautifully: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Not after we cleaned up our act. Not after we proved we were worthy. While we were still sinners—actively rebelling against God—Christ died for us. Grace is Completely Free Romans 3:24 says we are “justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” A gift that you have to pay for or work for isn’t really a gift—it’s a purchase or a wage. But salvation is a true gift, requiring no payment or work from the recipient. Grace Produces Works Here’s where many people get confused. They think that if salvation is by grace apart from works, then works don’t matter at all. But that’s not what Scripture teaches. Ephesians 2:10,

Whenever an aircraft crashes, the world reacts instantly. Grief, shock, fear. Yet the real work begins later – behind the scenes, guarded, deliberate, slow. Investigators piece together what happened, not to assign immediate blame, but to prevent it from happening again. In life, as Christians, we need to do something similar with our spiritual lives – especially after things fall apart. As we close our faith in flight series, we want to look at Crash Investigations – Learning from the Wreckage. Air India Flight 171: A Modern Tragedy Only days ago, Air India Flight 171, a Boeing 787 en route from Ahmedabad to London, crashed near the airport just seconds after takeoff. Of the 242 people on board, sadly only one survived, and lives were also lost on the ground. Investigators recovered both the flight-data and cockpit voice recorders, and are looking at possible engine failure, flap or gear issues, or weight distribution errors. However, final findings could take two to four years, as authorities pore over the data, interview crew, study maintenance records, and sift through debris . Be Patient for Truth Immediately after a crash, speculation floods news and social media. With this tragedy, early rumours blamed pilot error or maintenance lapses. Others pointed at flaps, overheating engines, or overloaded cargo . The danger is that if we lean on early theories, we may miss the actual issue. In our walks, we can be quick to believe the worst about ourselves or others, before we know the full story. What Our Spiritual “Black Box” Reveals Investigators rely on the black box—the flight recorder—to get the factual timeline in a crash. Spiritually, our black box is found in memory, Scripture, confession, and counsel. When we experience breakdowns—bitter relationships, sudden job loss, faith crises—it’s tempting to bury those memories. But God calls us to investigate. Ask hard questions: Honesty matters. Even the process of investigation is healing. Lessons That Lead to Change Aviation investigations lead to change: redesigned parts, new training, updated safety protocols. Pilots don’t climb back in if an unknown flaw lingers. As Christians, after a crash, something must change. It could be boundary-crossing habits, misaligned priorities, pride we excused. Or habits of bitterness or isolation. God invites us to recalibrate—through repentance, support, setting healthy limits, or seeking counselling. Hebrews 12:1 reminds us to “throw off everything that hinders”—not to shame us, but to set us free for the next season. Not All Crashes Are Our Fault Some Air India crashes relate to pilot error. Others, like this one, may involve mechanical failure or weather—factors beyond people’s direct control. Life works the same. A loved one dies. A disease strikes. The economy collapses. We didn’t cause it. And yet, God meets us in the wreckage. Job lost everything, yet he worshipped. His friends rushed to judge, but God was not silent or distant. Psalm 37:24 reminds us “Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down.” Facing trauma doesn’t negate faith. Rebuilding Before Takeoff After the investigation, aircraft are repaired, rechecked, recertified. Then they fly again—safer and stronger. So can we. Let’s commit to honest spiritual maintenance: Psalm 139:23–24 says, “Search me and know my heart,” opening the door for deep, lasting transformation. 🔑 Final Takeaways: Don’t Waste the Crash John TholeJohn Thole is the voice behind Beyond Salvation, a blog that captures the highs and lows of life through faith, laughter, and honest reflection. With a passion for storytelling, technology, and spiritual growth, he creates content that resonates with seekers, believers, and anyone navigating life’s journey. Whether sharing personal insights, devotionals, or thought-provoking discussions, John aims to inspire, uplift, and spark meaningful conversations. johnthole.co.za

Have you ever scrolled through your feed and wondered if something’s wrong with you because you’re still single? I’ve been there. It’s like the world is shouting “relationship goals” from every angle while you’re quietly asking God, “What about me?” Society has a funny way of turning singleness into a flaw when in reality, it can be one of the most purposeful seasons of your life. Singleness isn’t a waiting room. It’s not a punishment. It’s a chapter—sometimes quiet, sometimes stretching, but always meaningful. In this post, I want to share what I’ve learnt and continue to learn during this journey. Because if we let God lead, singleness becomes more than just a relationship status—it becomes preparation, healing, discovery, and purpose. 1. Singleness Is a Time to Seek God When you’re not pulled in different directions trying to serve others in a relationship, you have space to pour more into your walk with God. Paul actually talks about this in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. He says that a single person is concerned with the Lord’s affairs, how they can please Him. Married people don’t have that same focus because their time is shared. This season is a rare opportunity to go deeper in prayer, to study the Word without distraction, to be still and hear God clearly. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” You won’t always have this kind of quiet in life, so make the most of it. 2. Use This Time to Grow Personal growth isn’t just for self-help books—it’s part of becoming the person God created you to be. One thing I’ve learnt is that becoming “the one” is just as important as waiting for “the one.” This means developing your gifts, getting your finances in order, healing from past wounds, building confidence, and discovering your calling. Proverbs 18:16 says, “A man’s gift makes room for him.” Your future isn’t on pause—you’re being positioned. 3. Time for Healing Let’s be real: all of us carry stuff from our past—heartbreak, abandonment, rejection, fear. And many people jump into relationships without healing. But singleness gives you the gift of space to address what’s broken. The old saying “Hurt people hurt people” is true. So why not take the time now to heal, to forgive, to lay it all before God and let Him restore you? Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Let this season be your time of mending. 4. Singleness Isn’t a Curse – It’s Normal We’ve been conditioned to believe that if you’re single, something must be wrong. But the Bible is full of people who served God powerfully and were single. Jesus. Paul. Mary Magdalene. The list goes on. Marriage is a blessing, yes. But so is singleness. Don’t let people pressure you into relationships just to “look” fulfilled. You’re not less than. You’re not forgotten. You’re just in a different lane—and your lane still leads to purpose. 5. The Beauty of Purity Let’s talk about purity—yeah, that topic people tend to avoid. In a culture that normalises hookup culture, choosing purity can feel outdated. But it’s still God’s standard. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.” Purity isn’t just about saving sex for marriage. It’s about honouring God with your body, your mind, and your decisions. It’s not easy, but it’s possible—with His help. 6. You Don’t Need to “Fix” Being Single If your singleness feels like something you need to fix, breathe. You’re not broken. You’re not falling behind. You’re not missing out on life. What if this is exactly where God wants you? Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” You’re not wasting time—you’re being strengthened. 7. Embrace the Freedom You can travel. You can serve. You can start a business. You can grow in your calling. The freedom that comes with singleness is a blessing. Paul even says in 1 Corinthians 7:7, “I wish that all of you were as I am”—he was talking about being single. Why? Because he had time and energy to focus completely on his mission. You’ve got room to build, move, grow—and that’s something to be excited about. 8. Don’t Settle – Set Standards Being single isn’t about desperation—it’s about discernment. Don’t let loneliness convince you to lower your standards. Singleness is the season where you decide what’s non-negotiable. When you know your value, you won’t settle for just any relationship. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Guard it with standards. Guard it with prayer. Guard it with wisdom. Final Thoughts Singleness isn’t a side story—it’s a full chapter, and one worth living well. I’m learning to stop asking, “When will I find someone?” and start asking, “What is God doing in me right now?” Whether your season of singleness lasts months or years, it is still valuable, still God-ordained, and still full of purpose. So instead of rushing to the next stage, let’s live this one well. Let’s grow, heal, seek God, love ourselves, and build the life He’s calling us to. The right person will come at the right time, but don’t miss the beauty of what God is doing in you now. Singleness isn’t a punishment—it’s preparation. John TholeJohn Thole is the voice behind Beyond Salvation, a blog that captures the highs and lows of life through faith, laughter, and honest reflection. With a passion for storytelling, technology, and spiritual growth, he creates content that resonates with seekers, believers, and anyone navigating life’s journey. Whether sharing personal insights, devotionals, or thought-provoking discussions, John aims to inspire, uplift, and spark meaningful conversations. johnthole.co.za

When we think of leadership, we often think of visionaries, strategists, and those who command with authority. But one of the most influential leaders in history, King Solomon, offers a different perspective. His reign, marked by wisdom and prosperity, holds valuable lessons for leaders in every walk of life. Lets talk about the leadership lessons from King Solomon’s life. Here are the leadership lessons I learned from King Solomon’s life that can shape how we lead today: 1. Seek Wisdom Above All Else King Solomon is famously known for asking God for wisdom, not wealth or power, when given the opportunity to request anything he desired. His choice wasn’t just wise—it was strategic. Solomon knew that wisdom is the foundation of successful leadership. Wisdom gives you the ability to make informed decisions, see beyond the obvious, and handle complex situations with clarity. Proverbs 4:7 reminds us, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Learn more about Solomon’s request for wisdom Lesson for Leaders: As a leader, I’ve learned that having wisdom is more valuable than any resource. It helps you stay ahead, anticipate challenges, and make decisions that benefit not just yourself but those you lead. Whether you’re leading a team, a company, or even yourself, seeking wisdom—through learning, experience, and prayer—is a foundational principle. 2. Practice Discernment in Decision-Making One of Solomon’s most famous stories is the judgment of two mothers claiming the same child. His ability to discern the truth, even when the situation was clouded with emotion, shows us the power of discernment in leadership. Discernment is more than just knowledge—it’s the ability to judge well and choose wisely. Read more about Solomon’s discernment in decision-making Lesson for Leaders: In leadership, we face countless decisions that affect others. Some are straightforward, while others require more nuance. Solomon’s example shows that good leaders weigh their options carefully, seek understanding, and make choices that are just and right. I’ve found that discernment helps me navigate through the noise, focusing on what truly matters. 3. Surround Yourself with Wise Counselors Solomon was wise, but he wasn’t alone in his leadership. He understood the value of surrounding himself with advisors who offered guidance and insight. Proverbs 24:6 tells us, “With many advisers, victory is sure.” A great leader knows they don’t have all the answers—they rely on the collective wisdom of a trusted team. Learn more about the value of surrounding yourself with wise counselors Lesson for Leaders: I’ve learned that no matter how much experience I have, the counsel of others is invaluable. In business and life, surrounding yourself with people who challenge you, offer different perspectives, and provide honest feedback makes you a stronger, more well-rounded leader. It’s okay not to know everything. The key is knowing who to go to when you need advice. 4. Stay Humble, No Matter Your Success Solomon’s reign began in humility—he acknowledged his need for God’s help to lead such a great nation. But later in his life, as he gained power, his pride began to grow. This led to moral and spiritual decline, reminding us that humility is a critical trait in leadership. Read more about Solomon’s rise and fall Lesson for Leaders: Success can be intoxicating, but I’ve learned that staying humble is the only way to ensure long-term success. Humility allows you to stay grounded, focused, and open to growth. As leaders, we must constantly remind ourselves that our position is a privilege, not a right, and we should lead with gratitude and servitude. 5. Balance Ambition with Ethical Governance Solomon’s ambitious projects, like building the Temple, showed his visionary leadership. However, his later focus on luxury over the welfare of his people caused strain within his kingdom. This teaches us that ambition, when unchecked by ethical principles, can lead to downfall. Learn more about Solomon’s ambition and its consequences Lesson for Leaders: There’s nothing wrong with having big dreams and goals—after all, leaders are visionaries. But I’ve learned that ambition must always be balanced with ethics. Leadership is about serving others, not just achieving personal milestones. Staying committed to ethical governance means making decisions that prioritize the greater good over personal gain. 6. Learn From Mistakes Even the wisest leader is not immune to mistakes. Solomon’s later life was marked by decisions that led him away from his values, proving that leadership is a lifelong journey of learning. His life shows us that we must learn from both our successes and our failures. Read more about learning from Solomon’s successes and failures Lesson for Leaders: I’ve learned that reflecting on past decisions—good and bad—is critical for growth. No leader is perfect, but the best ones continuously evaluate their actions, learn from mistakes, and strive to do better. Leadership isn’t about being flawless; it’s about being teachable and resilient. 7. Guard Against Temptations Solomon’s downfall was largely due to temptations—his foreign wives, wealth, and power led him astray from his foundational principles. Temptation comes in many forms, and for leaders, it can be as simple as the desire for more power, more control, or more recognition. Learn more about guarding against temptations Lesson for Leaders: I’ve found that one of the hardest challenges in leadership is staying true to your core values when faced with temptations. Whether it’s the temptation to cut corners, compromise ethics, or pursue selfish gains, leaders must remain vigilant. Solomon’s life reminds us that a leader’s greatest enemy often comes from within—staying grounded in our values is what will ultimately sustain us. Conclusion: Leading Like Solomon King Solomon’s life is a masterclass in leadership. His wisdom, discernment, and ambition made him a great leader, but his pride and lack of self-discipline led to his downfall. What I’ve learned from his life is that leadership is a delicate balance. It’s about seeking wisdom, staying humble, surrounding yourself with the right people, and keeping your focus on ethical governance. As leaders today, we can learn from both Solomon’s

Let’s wrap up the Hero’s Journey. In our last post, we explored the first six steps of this epic adventure, looking through the lens of Pilgrim’s Progress. This book paints a vivid picture of the Christian life—a journey full of trials, triumphs, and lessons. As we continue, imagine yourself in Christian’s shoes. The path to Heaven, the Celestial City, mirrors our journey as believers. You might already be facing some of these steps, or they could be just around the corner. Either way, each one has something valuable to teach us about faith, perseverance, and hope. Step 7: The Innermost Cave Life has a way of throwing challenges at us when we least expect them. The “Innermost Cave” represents the hardest battles we face—those moments when everything feels dark and overwhelming. For Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress, this might be the Valley of the Shadow of Death. For us, it could be a personal struggle like overcoming an addiction, forgiving someone who hurt us, or learning to love ourselves despite our flaws. These moments push us to confront our deepest fears and rely fully on God. The good news? God promises to walk with us through every dark valley (Psalm 23:4). Even in the hardest times, He’s our strength and guide Psalm 23:4 – though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Step 8: The Ordeal Just when you think the hardest part is over, another trial appears. The “Ordeal” is a test of faith—a challenging situation that feels like it could break you. The devil doesn’t give up easily. Even after we’ve overcome one challenge, he tries to attack us again, often when we least expect it. These ordeals can take many forms: battling temptation, facing condemnation, or enduring the loss of a loved one. In these moments, we must rely on God’s strength, not our own. Ephesians 6:11 reminds us to put on the full armor of God so we can stand firm against the enemy. With God, we can face even the toughest battles. Step 9: The Reward After every ordeal comes a reward. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian’s victories lead him closer to the Celestial City. For us, rewards might come in the form of restored peace, a renewed sense of purpose, or even unexpected blessings. God is faithful. He doesn’t leave our efforts unnoticed. Each victory strengthens our faith and prepares us for what’s next. But rewards aren’t just about the celebration – they remind us that our journey isn’t over yet. The next challenge is always around the corner, so we must stay grounded in God’s Word. Step 10: The Road Back Victory doesn’t mean the journey is finished. The “Road Back” is the path to the final destination, but it often comes with challenges. In life, the enemy doesn’t stop trying to derail us. Even after spiritual victories, there are pitfalls to avoid and distractions to overcome. The key is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 reminds us to focus on Him, the author and finisher of our faith. This stage teaches us to stay humble and dependent on God. No matter how far we’ve come, there’s always more to learn and growth ahead. Step 11: Resurrection This step represents a moment of ultimate testing—a “final exam” of sorts. It’s often the hardest challenge yet, requiring every ounce of faith, strength, and perseverance we have. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian faces his greatest trial before reaching the Celestial City. For us, these moments can feel like everything is falling apart. Maybe it’s a major life crisis or a spiritual battle that seems impossible to win. But here’s the hope: with God, resurrection is always possible. When we fall, He lifts us. When we’re weak, He makes us strong. And when we feel like we can’t go on, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). Step 12: Return with the Elixir The journey ends with a glorious homecoming. For Christian, it’s the Celestial City—a place of eternal joy and peace. For believers, it’s Heaven, where we’ll be with God forever. This step reminds us of the ultimate goal. All the struggles, trials, and victories lead to this moment. Revelation 21:4 promises a place where there’s no more pain, sorrow, and death. But until that day, we’re called to live with eternity in mind. Our journey doesn’t just impact us—it inspires others. When we share our stories, we give hope to those still walking their path. Conclusion The Hero’s Journey isn’t just a story—it’s a reflection of real life. Each step challenges us, grows us, and brings us closer to God. Like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress, we all face valleys, battles, and moments of triumph. As you walk your journey, remember this: you’re never alone. God is with you every step of the way, guiding you toward the Celestial City. Keep pressing on, and don’t lose sight of the ultimate reward—eternal life with Him. John TholeJohn Thole is the voice behind Beyond Salvation, a blog that captures the highs and lows of life through faith, laughter, and honest reflection. With a passion for storytelling, technology, and spiritual growth, he creates content that resonates with seekers, believers, and anyone navigating life’s journey. Whether sharing personal insights, devotionals, or thought-provoking discussions, John aims to inspire, uplift, and spark meaningful conversations. johnthole.co.za

What are church hurts?  Church hurts refer to any type of pain (emotional, physical, or spiritual) caused by negative experiences in a religious or church setting. This can include experiences such as feeling excluded, rejected, or judged by fellow church members. It also includes experiencing abuse or mistreatment by church leaders. Do I need to be part of the church? God commands us to be part of the church for our own benefit. 23 Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works, 25 not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching Hebrews 23-24. Why do church hurts happen?  Doctrine disagreements, power struggles, and harsh words can cause church hurts. Physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse can also happen inside the church. What are some examples of church hurts?  Examples of church hurts can include feeling ostracized or excluded by a church community and being judged by church leaders or members. Public humiliation in church, and being misunderstood, are other examples of church hurts. How can church hurt impact a person’s spiritual life?  Church hurts can lead to feelings of disillusionment, anger, or sadness that can affect a person’s relationship with God. In worst-case scenarios, they can lead people to blame or hold a grudge against God. Some people have left their faith because the church has hurt them. How can a person heal from church hurts?  Healing from church hurts can involve seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend. Engaging in practices such as prayer, meditation, and forgiveness can quicken the healing process. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13. Should a person confront the person or people who have hurt them? Addressing those who have hurt you can be beneficial, but only if it is done in a safe and comfortable environment. 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector Matthew 18: 15-17. What can churches do to prevent church hurts?  Churches can prevent church hurts by fostering a culture of inclusion, acceptance, and love. Also, by implementing policies and procedures that prioritize the safety and well-being of all members.  Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8. Can a person still have a relationship with God after experiencing church hurts?  Yes, a person can still have a relationship with God after experiencing church hurts. Spiritual growth and healing can come through the practice of prayer and worship. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34 vs 18. Ultimately, having a relationship with God is a personal choice. Nothing can separate us from the love of God Romans 8 vs 31-39. Is it possible to find a church community that won’t cause church hurts?  Finding a church community that meets one’s values and provides a safe and supportive environment is possible. The only way to find the right community for you is to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Let God show you which church community you should be part of. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left Isaiah 30:21. How can a person know if they should leave a church that has caused them church hurts?  When they feel unsafe or unwelcome in the community. If they are being mistreated or abused by church leaders or members, it might be a good time to leave. Sometimes taking a short break from church is all you need. In my case, I had to move to a different branch of the same church where I could worship God freely. John TholeJohn Thole is the voice behind Beyond Salvation, a blog that captures the highs and lows of life through faith, laughter, and honest reflection. With a passion for storytelling, technology, and spiritual growth, he creates content that resonates with seekers, believers, and anyone navigating life’s journey. Whether sharing personal insights, devotionals, or thought-provoking discussions, John aims to inspire, uplift, and spark meaningful conversations. johnthole.co.za

Building on the insights shared in our last post, where we unpacked the reasons why we get hurt by the church, today we’ll dive into the different types of church hurts and discuss ways to overcome them. From emotional and spiritual wounds to physical and financial traumas, it’s important to recognize that, while painful, these experiences don’t have to define our faith journey. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk this path alone. Types of Church Hurts with Examples Emotional Hurts Emotional wounds are often subtle but can have a lasting impact on a person’s mental health. For example, I shared previously about being exposed for stealing in front of the congregation. The shame and anxiety of that public exposure in a Pentecostal church, especially during prophecy time, created a lasting fear of judgment. These hurts often stem from feelings of exclusion, rejection, or betrayal within the community, leaving one feeling isolated and misunderstood. Physical Hurts Physical hurts in a church setting can range from accidents to more intense conflicts. I’ve witnessed situations where arguments in church escalated into physical altercations. Additionally, churches can sometimes unintentionally expose people to harm, as in the biblical example of Eutychus, who fell from a window and died while Paul was preaching (Acts 20:9). These incidents, while accidental, underscore the need for a safe environment and respectful interactions. Spiritual Hurts Spiritual hurts can deeply shake one’s faith. For example, people often feel exposed if their private struggles are shared publicly by church leadership. A person criticized for not praying long enough or speaking in tongues may feel unworthy, and this can create a crisis of faith. Spiritual hurt arises when religious expectations or beliefs are wielded to judge or shame, leading some to question their belonging within the community. Sexual Hurts Sexual hurt is a heartbreaking reality for some, taking forms from inappropriate comments to severe incidents like sexual abuse. Survivors often feel violated by someone they trusted and may experience lasting emotional trauma. Seeking therapy from services like BetterHelp or connecting with survivor support organizations like RAINN can provide confidential support, a safe space to share experiences, and tools for healing. Financial Hurts Financial hurts stem from perceived mismanagement or a lack of transparency. For instance, constant fundraising without clear financial accountability can lead people to feel exploited. This betrayal can shake trust, creating a sense of disillusionment with church leadership. Let’s face the truth, some pastors and leaders have and still use the money for their financial needs. This is the main reason why people do not want to give tithe and offerings in church. Steps to Overcome Church Hurts Acknowledge the Hurt “Risk is real. The Christian life is a painful life. Not joyless. But not painless either.” – John Piper The first step in overcoming church hurts is to acknowledge that they exist and that they are real. This can be difficult, especially if the hurt is subtle or hard to articulate, but it is an essential first step. Yes, you have been hurt, let that sink in and then decide the way forward – finding help and finding healing. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Seek Support Building a support network is essential. Talking with friends, family, or a therapist can offer perspective and comfort. BetterHelp provides access to licensed Christian therapists who can guide you through processing church-related traumas. Do not suffer in silence. “Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.” – Romans 15:1 Practice Self-Care “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” – Eckhart Tolle Self-care is critical during healing. This may involve physical activities like exercise or emotional outlets like journaling or engaging in hobbies that bring joy. Christian author Lisa TerKeurst’s book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget discusses healing strategies through a biblical perspective, helping you navigate pain and self-care. Set Boundaries Setting boundaries protects your emotional well-being. Boundaries might include stepping back from certain church activities or limiting interactions with individuals who’ve hurt you. Christian resources like Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer guidance on establishing boundaries in ways that align with biblical values. “Don’t compromise even if it hurts to be yourself.” – Toby Keith Forgiveness Forgiving does not mean forgetting but allows you to release resentment. Holding onto anger can trap you in a cycle of pain, while forgiveness opens a pathway toward peace and freedom. “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” – Matthew 6:15 Take it to God While this is supposed to be the first step you take, sometimes it is the last thing you do, that’s why we left it for last. Turning to God through prayer can bring peace and clarity. Even when we struggle to find words, God understands our pain and invites us to bring our burdens to Him. Psalm 42:11 reminds us, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God.” Conversations with God, even in moments of weakness, can lead us toward peace and restoration. Conclusion Church hurts are undeniably painful, but they don’t have to define your faith journey. By acknowledging your experiences, seeking support, practicing self-care, and embracing forgiveness, you can move forward with renewed strength and faith. Remember, God desires healing for each of us, and no matter what you’ve endured, restoration is within reach. Healing may take time, but with support, self-care, and divine guidance, the journey forward is possible. John TholeJohn Thole is the voice behind Beyond Salvation, a blog that captures the highs and lows of life through faith, laughter, and honest reflection. With a passion for storytelling, technology, and spiritual growth, he creates content that resonates with seekers, believers, and anyone navigating life’s journey. Whether sharing personal insights, devotionals, or thought-provoking discussions, John