Last updated on June 16th, 2023 at 10:32 pm

If you’ve been a part of a church community for any length of time, chances are you’ve experienced some kind of hurt. Unfortunately, churches, like any other human organization, are not immune to conflict, misunderstandings, and even abuse. In this article, we will explore some of the most common types of church hurts and how to overcome them.

The Different Church Hurts

Emotional 

Emotional hurts can come in many forms, such as being ignored or excluded or experiencing the pain of broken relationships. These can be painful because they are often subtle and hard to articulate, leaving us feeling isolated and alone.

Physical 

Physical hurts can range from minor injuries sustained during church activities to more severe incidents of abuse. Whether intentional or unintentional, these can leave deep emotional scars and require careful attention and healing.

Spiritual 

We can experience spiritual hurts when we are challenged to question our beliefs or values. These can be challenging to overcome as they strike at the core of our identity. And can cause us to question our faith and our place in the church community.

Sexual 

Sexual hurts can take many forms, including unwanted sexual advances, inappropriate touching, or sexual abuse. These can be traumatic, leaving us feeling violated and betrayed.

Financial 

Financial hurts can occur when we feel that the church’s financial practices are not transparent or ethical. These can be difficult to overcome because they affect our trust in the church and its leaders.

Overcoming Church Hurts

Acknowledge the Hurt

The first step in overcoming church hurts is to acknowledge that they exist and that they are real. This can be difficult, especially if the hurt is subtle or hard to articulate, but it is an essential first step.

“Risk is real. The Christian life is a painful life. Not joyless. But not painless either.”

— John Piper

Seek Support

It is necessary to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals. A support network can help us process our feelings. No one is an island.

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Romans 15: 1

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is critical in the healing process. It can include exercise, healthy eating, and engaging in hobbies or activities that bring us joy.

Because we expect the church to be perfect, it is easy to blame ourselves for church hurts. This can sometimes lead people to neglect self-care because of depression.

“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”

Eckhart Tolle

Set Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is an important part of healing. This can include saying no or limiting our exposure to situations or people that trigger our hurts. It is important to let others know what you are and what you are not comfortable with.

Don’t compromise even if it hurts to be yourself.

. –Toby Keith

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the healing process. It doesn’t mean that we have to forget or condone the hurt. It means we can let go of the anger and bitterness that can keep us trapped in a cycle of pain.

Forgiving those who have wronged you is the best gift you can give to yourself. Not everyone is going to apologize, not everyone is going to take responsibility. It is up to you to heal from the trauma that no one apologized for.

"But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." -Mathew 6 vs 15

Take it to the King

It is without saying that the best step you can do in order to find healing is to take your hurts to God. He never sleeps and he never slumbers, he never tires of hearing our prayers. Even when you don’t have the strength to pray, having an honest conversation with God is enough to bring you peace and healing.

He understands what you are going through. Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God, and once again I will praise him, my Savior and my God Psalms 42:11.

Conclusion

Church hurts can be painful and challenging to overcome. With the right tools and support, we can find healing. No matter what you went through, God wants you to find healing and restoration.