My journey of overcoming addiction has been deeply intertwined with my experience in the church. For a long time, I believed the church was my only refuge, the one place I should feel completely safe and accepted without judgment. But as much as I wanted it to be a place of healing, my focus became misplaced, and it began complicating my recovery.
You see, I wasn’t really looking to God. Instead, I was focused on the people around me, and that led to a dangerous comparison trap. Everyone seemed so perfect, so spiritual. There I was, feeling like an impostor in the middle of people who seemed to have it all together—praying for hours while I struggled just to get through the day without another relapse.
It took me a long time to realize that my recovery wasn’t about how well I could measure up to those around me. It wasn’t about whether I could live up to the expectations I imagined they had. No, it was about one thing: fixing my focus. Setting my eyes on Jesus, the one who truly redeems and sets us free.
The Danger of Comparison
Comparison has a sneaky way of creeping into our minds, especially in church settings where everyone seems to be living their best spiritual lives. For someone in the middle of a struggle—whether it’s addiction, anxiety, or any other battle—it can be overwhelming. That’s where I found myself, constantly thinking, “I don’t belong here. Look at them, they’re so holy, and here I am, stuck in this addiction.”
I started feeling like I wasn’t worthy of being in God’s presence, let alone among His people. But here’s the thing: God’s grace doesn’t depend on how we measure up to others. In fact, the Bible constantly reminds us that grace is given freely, not based on merit or comparison.
Colossians 3:2 tells us, "Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth."
This truth became my turning point. I had to stop focusing on those around me, stop trying to match up to their outward spirituality, and start looking up—toward Jesus.
Shifting Your Focus
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in addiction recovery was that people will always fall short. If we base our journey on the approval or behavior of others, we will constantly feel defeated. Humans are flawed, but God is constant. Shifting my focus from people to God was the beginning of real change.
Hebrews 12:2 says, “Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”
When I began to focus on Jesus, instead of those around me, I found freedom—not immediate, but deep and lasting. Instead of seeing my failure in light of others’ perceived perfection, I began to see my struggle in the light of God’s grace.
It’s easy to let the guilt of relapse push us away from church, away from God. We start thinking things like, “I’ve messed up too many times. God’s done with me.” But the truth is, God never gives up on us, even when we’ve given up on ourselves.
Romans 8:1 tells us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
This verse became my lifeline. It reminded me that even after a relapse, God wasn’t condemning me. Instead, He was waiting for me to come back, to refocus my heart on Him.
The Illusion of Perfection in Church
Church is often seen as a place where everyone has it together, where people are expected to be at their best. But the truth is, no one has it all together—not the pastors, not the worship leaders, not the people sitting in the pews.
I’ve learned over time that church is a place for broken people, for those of us who are on a journey to healing. It is like a hospital where everyone is welcome. When we focus on the image people project instead of the God who heals, we end up missing the whole point of grace. Grace isn’t about perfection; it’s about love and restoration.
Psalm 34:5 says, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”
This verse reassures me that when I turn my eyes to God, shame has no place in my life. Shame is what kept me from reaching out for help. It’s what made me hide my struggles, believing that no one in the church would understand. But when I look to Jesus, my shame is replaced with hope.
Freedom in Christ, Not in Perfection
It’s easy to feel enslaved to addiction, to believe that you’re too far gone, too broken to ever be free. I’ve been there. But the beauty of God’s promise is that our freedom doesn’t depend on our perfection—it depends on His grace.
John 8:36 says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
This verse is one of my favorites because it reminds me that true freedom is found in Jesus, not in my ability to stay “clean” or perfect. Every time I fell, I felt like I was slipping further away from God’s love. But His love isn’t conditional. It’s not based on whether or not we relapse. It’s based on His unchanging nature, His desire to see us free and whole.
This fight against addiction is not one we face alone. God is with us every step of the way, offering His hand to pull us up each time we fall. Proverbs 24:16 reminds us, “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” This verse speaks to the resilience we are called to have, not in our own strength, but in the strength God provides.
Keeping Your Eyes on Jesus
The secret to overcoming addiction, to finding lasting recovery, is found in one simple truth: our focus must be on Jesus. The people in church will fail us. We will fail ourselves. But Jesus never fails. He is the one who redeems, who restores, and who brings us out of the darkness into His marvelous light.
When you feel like giving up, like you’ll never break free from the chains of addiction, remember this: It’s not about how many times you’ve fallen. It’s about where your eyes are fixed when you get back up. Are you looking to people? To your own strength? Or are you looking to the One who has already overcome?
The journey is long, and it’s hard. But with Jesus, freedom is possible. Keep your focus on Him. Who the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36). And that freedom is worth everything.
